Today was a good day to be outdoors for several reasons, the lovely fall day being just one of them. The biggest reason to get out of the house was that Carol was scrubbing carpets! My ears hurt from the roar of the vacuums and scrubbers. My abilitiy to get around since I'm blind requires that furniture be where I expect it to be. Today none of my landmarks were in their right places. I was humiliated bumping into things.
I experienced awful confusion. I felt really anxious. Jan said it would have been better if I hadn't insisted on wanting to be where the people were. I could have stayed out until this housecleaning was done. How could I have known? How is anyone able to trust those around them when friends depart from normal routines and you don't understand why?
How do you trust when you don't understand? There must be a lesson in today's experience. Things are back to normal. I feel safe again. Have I learned anything? Is understanding necessary for trust?? I am writing these things down so I might remember when the carpets get scrubbed again, as well as in the event of other unfamiliar activities: These are good people. They do care for me. Trust is a choice. I came through this bout of doubt just fine. Hopefully, I'll spare myself the pain of so much anxiety next time. I choose to trust, just as Cosmo and the chickens choose to trust me.
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